Boundaries

As I was reading in Joshua this morning, I was struck by a long, detailed list of the borders of the land allotted to Judah. I’ve got to be honest; I was bored. It was only twelve verses; however, I couldn’t help but wonder why on earth God thought these details were important enough to include them in the Bible because when I read them, they have no meaning to me since none of the places listed are familiar to me. I can appreciate the historical factor of having it included, but it prompted me to ask God why borders are so important to Him. Within me, I immediately heard, “They create boundaries.”

Hmmmm…that made me wonder why boundaries are so important, which in my mind automatically linked together both physical boundaries and emotional boundaries when I began to consider their importance.

The list I created was this:

• Boundaries provide safety, keeping those things in that should stay in and keeping those things out that are potentially harmful.
• Boundaries create a sense of ownership.
• Boundaries provide a record for future generations to know the history of the area – both what has been conquered and what has been taken.
• When there are boundaries, it provides an understanding for people to know where they belong and also to Whom they belong.
• Boundaries also keep things out that we’re not meant to have dwell among us because those things draw us away from God and His plans for our lives.

So, how does this apply to living a renovated life? In all kinds of ways! More than one book has been written on the topic of establishing healthy boundaries in our lives. I’m not going to try to rewrite what has already been said so well. Put quite simply, boundaries establish a line that we either allow others to cross or we don’t, and there are those for whom we need to have very strong boundaries in place for our mental health and overall well-being. That may mean that we keep them physically out of our lives or, if there is reason for them to remain in our lives, we set up clear limitations of what is allowed, even in the ways in which we’re spoken to, and what isn’t permitted, standing our ground to keep those boundaries in place.

When we set boundaries, we take ownership over that area. We have a sense that it’s ours to tend, keep, nurture and cause to thrive. We know what’s ours and we take care of it. Future generations also know our history as we pass it down through storytelling, written records of marriages, births, home leases and ownership, journals and more. Generations can know what we’ve conquered, where we’ve failed  and also the ground we’ve laid claim to as our own, leaving it as a legacy to their generation and beyond.

Boundaries can create a sense of family, community, tribe and culture. They can be found in any setting and they can be healthy or not. For instance, our past includes being a part of a church culture that became incredibly unhealthy and it took us years to heal from it. Our journey out of it has included setting up boundaries that now also consist of not only being able to identify when things are “off,” but in being able to say no to following a leader when that’s the best decision for us to make.  It’s founded on knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt to Whom we belong and Whose leading we follow.

I think what struck me most in my reading this morning were the notes I read about those whom the Israelites didn’t quite drive out from their midst. Two of the places were in Joshua 15:63 and 16:10, but those certainly aren’t the only places where this idea is mentioned. The notes in my Spirit Filled Life Bible talk about how Israel’s failure to fully drive out the foreigners in their land would affect “the moral and social fiber of their lives for generations” and how it would also “eventually turn the Israelites from following God” (p. 328). I know that I can look back at times when I’ve allowed relationships to become a part of my life, both as friends and as love interests, and those individuals have drawn me away from my relationship with my First Love. If not for His grace, my life would have been train wrecked more than once, most especially when I was engaged at 19 to an abusive alcoholic, all the while professing my faith in Christ, yet not honoring Him with my body or my actions.

I wasn’t following God during those times, but God still pursued me, much as He illustrated through the life of Hosea and his marriage to Gomer. God continued to love me, just as He continued to love Israel despite the multitudes of times they turned away from Him. He restored me and when I read words like these, I see myself in them, “For you have stumbled because of your iniquity (sin); take words with you, and return to the Lord. Say to Him, ‘Take away all iniquity; receive us (me) graciously.’”…To which He responds, “’I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely’” (Hosea 14:1-2, 4, words in parentheses added).

I have enough strong will in me to sometimes fight against things that I may feel have been imposed on me, but I’ve learned that boundaries aren’t for hemming in unnecessarily, imprisoning those within. Instead, they’re a protection, a means of keeping those things out that aren’t meant to come in and keeping within those things that are meant to remain. They create a sense of identity and ownership and within that dual plan, we can know to Whom we belong. We can also know that when we’ve strayed outside of our borders and stumbled, we can return, experience healing and know that we are loved.

Spirit Filled Life Bible (2013), New King James Version, Thomas Nelson Publishing.