Man's Best Friend - Every House Needs One

I used to go to sleep at night snuggled up to my husband. Now I go to sleep with the dog. I’m actually ok with that. REALLY – I am!

Before you begin to think that our marriage is in trouble, let me allay those concerns. You see, Bri hasn’t stopped curling up next to me and wrapping his arms around me at night, he just does it later than he used to and I’m already asleep when he does (and generally not even aware of it). Instead of coming to bed with me, he’s been going into my office, adjacent to our bedroom, and spending time in worship and prayer. I can sacrifice his presence at night in order for Bri to be in HIS presence, spending intimate time with HIM instead of with me. When my husband connects intimately with the Lover of his soul, he can better love MY soul as a result.

The other night, Bri invited me to pray with him. I sat next to him on the couch and Bri turned on a Kim Walker worship song. The two of us praying together is nothing unusual, but THIS??? It was AWKWARD and…UNCOMFORTABLE. We lasted for about two minutes together (if that) before Bri said, “This is weird.” My response to him? “Oh, HALLELUJAH! GOOD NIGHT!!!” I was so thankful to get out of there! I kissed him goodnight and left as quickly as I could! It felt like I had walked in on two lovers and I was NOT supposed to be there!

This may all sound bizarre to you and that’s ok. Growing into greater depths of intimacy with God has been a progressive journey for us. We didn’t start here. As we’ve spent time in His presence with no real agenda and have allowed love to flow from Him to us and back to Him, that intimacy has grown, much as intimacy grows and deepens between husband and wife over time.

This may still sound foreign, even to those who are married, because many couples don’t ever experience the depth of intimacy between them that I’m describing. I had a conversation the other day in which I shared with someone our three marriage rules. These are the three principles upon which our marriage has been founded. They’re what has saved our marriage when we went through an incredibly difficult time and they’re what has enabled us to grow in intimacy over the years, falling more deeply in love each passing day, loving each other more than we ever knew was possible. These are the rules we live by daily:

1. Jesus Christ is LORD of our lives – period.
2. Divorce is NOT an option – end of discussion.
3. WHEN we argue or disagree, we have committed to always focus on the issue, not make it into a character assassination. We’ve never called one another a name of any sort; never even thought the other was a “jerk” or worse.

The first two rules are ones that are more common among married couples, especially those who are Christian couples. But it’s often the third one that’s left out and it makes all the difference in the world. When we focus on the issue at hand, we can find solutions for addressing it, even if it takes time. If we tear one another down, all we’re doing is damaging the heart and soul of the one we love. That’s not productive at all.

That doesn’t mean that we don’t have character development that needs to take place in each of us. It just means that we let Jesus do that work in the other person and trust God through the process. He’ll do a far better job than we ever could! That being said, God has shown me SO MUCH unconditional love through my husband, transforming my life, healing my heart and making me a much better person than I ever knew I could be, but that was God doing that and my husband was simply His willing vessel. Bri says that I have made him a better man, challenging him, causing him to push past his comfort zone and become the man God has called him to be rather than just float on the current of life.

Please hear me clearly on this. I have A LOT of compassion for those who have gone through a divorce. I remember looking at my pastor’s wife years ago and saying that I really understood why people choose that option because it can seem a whole lot easier than going through what we were going through at that time. I CAN say that the other side is incredibly sweet. We still work hard at our marriage every day. We HAVE to work hard at our marriage because it’s far from perfect. We still deal with issues and some of them even revolve around intimacy. The hard work we put into our marriage won’t ever stop because we know we need it and the benefits of falling in love more deeply every day are too wonderful to NOT work at it!

So, despite missing the warmth of my husband next to me as I fall asleep, I’m ok with having a dog (or two) in my bed for the first time ever. I know that as Bri spends time leaning into Jesus, worshipping, praying, and even falling asleep in HIS arms, that Bri will continue to grow and thrive personally, being an even better husband, father, and life transformer. I can make that sacrifice, sleeping with man’s best friend, so my beloved can spend time with HIS Best Friend.